Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
