what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
