finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
