Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize