My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize