I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
