cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
