I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
