is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
