You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
