...so i touched it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize