Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Girls should come with a carfax report
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
