I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
