come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.