my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
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How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...