And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.