I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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