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• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part

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• (631): View more from New York

  the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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• (682): View more from Texas

  She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood

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• (310): View more from California

  So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?

  (310): View more from California

  Um. We had sex on a washing machine.

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