Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
