You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
