who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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