I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
