She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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