I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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