So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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