It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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