Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
