just tell him i said nine months
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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