Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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