Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
