he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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