please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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