adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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