this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
