"it" just moved
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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