best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize