this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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