why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize