I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
