you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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