I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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