The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
