No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
