Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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