I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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