shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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