so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
