i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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