He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
