The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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