so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
