marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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