Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
