My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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