Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
