Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
