so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
