Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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